Fighter Jets

Why don’t they put missiles on fighter jets that shoot backwards, it just doesn’t make sense to me.  I couldn’t see any damage it would do if it was fired backwards, at least not any more damage that could be done being fired forwards, you know.  I mean most of the times that a plane is shot down, they are shot from behind right. So you should have something to fire back there, just to deter them, maybe like a big can of paint, that would be sweet, or eggs.

THE IT FACTOR:  WHY TAG IS PERPETUAL.

Ah, the game of tag.  A game of virgin youth.  A game of wit, stamina, speed, and strength, the game proves a sporting contest for any child.  “You’re it” claims one.  But this child does not want to be it, who wants to be it, no one.  If you refuse to be it, you will only add to the jubilant cries of the other victors because you will be "it" forever, you cannot win by saying you refuse to play if you are tagged, because you are "it".  You don’t want to be it, therefore the child will tag anyone in site, the cycle continues forever.

It is all a web

If you look hard enough there is always meaning in anything, you can relate two guys talking in a Cafe to the cold war, or bananas falling from a tree to a blackhole.   Maybe there is a lesson in that, saying that everything is interconnected, but ah what the hell probably not

The Rapture

I'm sure everyone is sick of this rapture talk by now, or maybe not since apparently it never happened, maybe people will talk about it for another 3 days.  But I just want to basically sum up what I have learned from this.  Some old guy named Camping, who is crazy christian and has a lot of money (or should I say his church does), decided to spend millions on an ad campaign to tell everyone that this was the end of the world or so he believed because he did his own version of math and interpreted the bible in a fucked up way.  I'm sorry I just want to sit back and analyze this again.  A rich christian group decided to spend money on advertising the end of the world that only they believed instead of spending that millions of dollars on something oh I don't know...Christian for them to do.  I know it's the same old story, but guess what a kid in Africa just died of aids or some militia probably because of the huge diamond demand that our country help perpetuates, and we go and spend a million dollars, on mainly billboards mind you, to tell everyone the end of the world is coming.  So make sure you believe in Jesus right now and you are good, and nevermind that you be a good person your whole life.  Isn't religion fun?   As long as you are christian, and repent you get into heaven okey dokey.  This guy had nothing to lose, if he was wrong oh God must be changing his plan, but if something fucked up would have happened just think how crazy people would have gotten even if that event had nothing to do with a rapture.  Do you think people in Iceland were losing their shit?

I don't even want to get into the cultural shockwaves this will send through communities.  A lot of people took this seriously.  I bet one person killed themselves.  Sue Camping's ass.  Sue that dude for everything he is worth take every blood cent from that godforsaken man.  I don't care that most of the people that believed him were crazy themselves.  More rational people were probably disturbed by this somehow.  Should he face consequences for launching this campaign?

I wish we could deem rich people crazy and that they don't deserve their money, start with this guy.  These are the rich pricks that I want every person to get an amount of their fortune that deserves it.  I'm not talking about welfare and handouts, I'm talking about the the guy down the street who just lost an arm and is getting screwed out of insurance money because he was trying to save someones life on the line so he knowingly committed the act deemed the courts.  That guy, that guy could probably use $30,000 to straighten his life out he deserves it.  Not this guy who is just going to spend it in his last will and testament that he wants to release everywhere that the world is going to end on December 1, 2030.  He is going to burn his money in that down the line probably.  Just to get one over on the people one more time.    Why not pray for people to see the way if you believe it so much.  Why spend a tsunami's worth of aid budget to just get attention?   Why do the least Christian thing you could probably do?

Sorority Girls

If Everyone Lived Like a Sorority Girl, Then We Would…

• Drink 120,000 gallons of pink alcoholic shit every year with stupid straws
• Get 20 tons of food, but only eat 1 ton, then throw away whatever is left
• Everyone would think they are the greatest thing in the world, and whatever they do is outrageous/crazy, when it is just stupid shit that only they think is funny.  Like dancing on a table, holy shit we are so crazy you slut.    
• Have at least 2 abortions a year
• Dad’s across the world would go into to debt to pay for credit card bills they think are for books but are really for three way vibrators, and butt plugs.
• Saved by the Bell and Dirty Dancing would be the greatest things, not that we would really watch them but that they are vintage and from the 80’s so it’s cool. 
• We wouldn’t be able to understand how Groundhog Day works.  “It has something to do with the angle of the sun, right?”
• Everyone would have a pointless belly button ring so it might be kind of hard to distinguish who the sluts are, but it would be a safe bet to assume they all are.
• Would pay over $10,000 just to live in a sorority house every year (9 months) at least it was that way in 1987
• Tanning salon stock would sky rocket, while things like health, and technology stocks would plummet because in that world there isn’t anything that a trip to Cabo can’t cure or do. 
• No worrying about STD’s, because everyone would have one
• The Peabody’s, Pulitzers, Noble prizes would be worthless unless they gave one out for girls with most shit on their face. 
• Lines would lose all meaning, not only because they are complicated, but also  everyone would be able to move to the front because they fucked someone, or at least promised they would.

Confused Kids

I can’t wait to have kids just so I can use all that sexual innuendo with my wife.  Like my kid would come in and ask if he could get a sand box.  Then I’d be like there is already plenty of sand in her box.  The kid would be all confused.  Oh yeah. 

Pointillism Universe

Take a painting, I especially like to take A Sunday Afternoon in the thing, by that pointillism guy.  I mean wow.  Deepest painting ever it gets my vote for sure.  You have society, what was going through at the time.  I mean look at this guy, there is a guy in the bushes does he have a gun I don’t’ know.  Then they got the fucking monkey what the hell.  I heard it had something to do with prostitutes, there are so many prostitutes in that painting and that reinforces that is disengagement of society.  Not only is everyone made of mere points, or dots, which means everyone is made up of nothing, or the same thing, but the people believed to be high class merely use prostitutes for their own being, and that is what creates them.  Do we create our own problems?