To Be A Dog Or Not To Be A Dog

A lot of times when someone is having a hard day, they'll notice how their dog is just lounging around doing nothing and claim something stupid like "I wish I had the life of a dog."  Now your lucky this isn't the twilight zone and the next day you would wake up a dog and be trapped in that world forever with still your thoughts.  With every life decision lets go through this thing into a pros and cons list.  For best possible scenario lets assume you would be a dog born in an American suburb Minneapolis,  since some countries have decided to treat dogs like we treat pigs, crazy right?

Pros
You can sleep most of the day
You get your food for free
You get to shit out in the open and have some one pick it up for you
You get lots of positive encouragement based on basic commands
You get to experience the world in completely different light, you don't know what the stars mean but you see them, what does fresh baked bread smell like to a dog?  Can you hear phantoms?
You are naked and no one cares
You get really, really excited about somewhat mundane things, it must be like being on heroin
You can pretty much do what you want on some level and no one complains. 

THATS IT!

Cons
You get your balls chopped or your vag put in a food processor
You can only eat dog food for the majority of your diet, otherwise some scraps of gizzard and gristle, you are lower class. 
You can only eat when you are allowed, and people may forget sometimes or your water gets old and stale
You can't masturbate, if you get spade or neutered I'm not sure what that would even be like.  Maybe you are horny and try to hump things but you can't feel anything down there.  You eventually lose all passion and go insane saddest thing ever. And you can't count the dogs that can bat at their genitalia, try bating at your dick with your hand and see how that feels. 
You get extremely scared a lot over normally mundane things, it must be like being on heroin