A retelling of a great story, it is the simple stories like this that make you examine what the hell is happening. Some versions tell it with a scorpion, but that’s a stretch. I think a spider vs. frog is much more like a Mr. Smith vs. Neo thing, Matrix I not II or III. Anyway there was this spider resting next to a stream, he needed to get to the other side to survive the harsh winter. On the other side lay a bountiful garden full of many insects and other delicious prey. But there was no way a spider could cross this dangerous stream without drowning. The spider then saw his one and only chance. A frog was getting ready to dive into the stream for one of his daily swims for which he enjoyed so much. At the very moment the frog was about leap in, he heard faint voice call him out.
“Excuse me Frog, but I was wondering, if it wasn’t too much trouble, if you could take me to the other side. I would surely die by staying over here”
“I don’t know spider. You have a very deadly bite, and if I take you across what is to stop you from biting me with your venom and in doing so killing me?”
“Well frog, if I bite you while we are crossing I would die as you drowned, and by the time we get to the other side you will still be able to move much faster than me and avoid my bite. And of course it wouldn’t be kind of me to bite someone that did such a nice gesture for me.”
The frog hesitated but at the last moment remembered what would Jesus do?
“I suppose I could help you out, as long as you promised not to harm me. I suppose it would safe since it would spell your doom as well”
“Oh thank you so much frog, you will not regret it. It is a good thing to have a spider for a friend, especially since we share a common meal”
The spider climbed on top of the frog’s back. The frog then dove into the stream and swam with ease. The stream was no match for the frog’s powerful legs, and the spider sat safely on top.
When the frog had reached the halfway point across the stream, he felt a stinging pain in his neck followed by a warming sensation throughout his all body, and then numbness.
“What has happened, my legs are getting weak”
“I’m sorry frog. I have bitten you with my poison”
“Why have you done that?! Now we will both die!”
“It is my nature frog”
The frog’s swimming soon became erratic and out of control, finally one last kick of his leg and he became static, his eyes gazing off into the nothingness of a distant place. Now motionless he sank through the cold water, bringing the spider with him. Both dead, they would remain there until their bodies dragged through every imaginable bottom.
To Be Continued
Did this really happen? What are you on an acid trip, frogs can’t fucking speak spider douchebag.
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